the place was crammed
with people.
all of them
beautiful.
you were hoping
for catharsis but
instead
you just stood right in front of the speaker
and rocked back and forth
tensely
so that when you left
your hips
and neck both
hurt.
from being so
tense.
the air spiked with the sweet smoke
of a burned plant and
inside it was warm.
outside it was raining when you entered and
raining still when you left.
maybe it had stopped
and started
again.
outside you walked a block or two with the throngs of beautiful people
and then they disappeared
and you were walking
again
on your own.
kind of a
jerking hobble,
on account of the
sore hips.
on account of the
tense rocking,
there
in front of the speaker,
in the subtle sweetness of smoke.
back there where you had hoped for
catharsis but
instead
just mostly enjoyed yourself.
a few times you lost focus and thought to yourself,
“i no longer think
i’ll even try
to be relatable”,
but then you took a
deep breath and
got back to your pant legs
vibrating
from the sound waves and
your neck stiff from the
rocking.
most of the people around you were
a good decade
younger and you
yourself lost
that same decade to a blackout.
two decades,
really.
the decade you’ve just started
you might not see its end but
you saw its beginning.
and who can’t relate to that.
zakschafer.com 