it’s easy to turn to
nothing
when surrounded by
nothing.
when this is
over,
when you get
back,
you’ll turn fully into
nothing,
you think.
earlier, you read
“outline of practice”
while filling yourself with
steamed oat milk
and
decaffeinated coffee.
later, a man
walks down the street
carrying all of his belongings,
shouting,
“who wants to die first!?!”.
you have plans
with yourself,
to take yourself
to a pizza place
not far from where
you are staying.
you’ve read
good things
about it.
you’d like to
try it,
you think,
before you die.
you walk by
the shouting man,
as does
everyone else.
all of you,
walking together,
separately.
and you think,
i will turn towards
nothing,
when i return.
you think this,
while you are
surrounded
by everything.
while you
last night
stood in front of
a wall of speakers
and looked at
beautiful people
and fantasized yourself as
part of their lives.
the woman on stage
pretended to be weird,
made strange faces,
moved her hands oddly.
an act.
art.
full of
something.
being something.
tonight,
you will eat the pastries
you earlier bought
and you will go to
the pizza place
a short walk from where
you are staying.
you will read
and likely watch movies
or shows.
you will get into bed
and put on music,
listen to it,
as you try to
ease yourself
from consciousness.
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