sure it can
feel good
for a while.
move to a
new town.
start a
new job.
get a
new apartment.
buy a
new coat,
a new pair of
shoes.
goretex
even,
look at that,
i can walk
right through
the rain.
get sober.
get fit.
try a
new method
for
managing your
mental health;
tinctured herbs
and powdered
mushrooms.
try it
even if it
is illegal.
yes it can
feel good
for a while.
you might like
the new town,
you might not
totally hate
the new job.
you might find
some comfort
in the new apartment.
the new coat
you bought, it
fits well,
on account of t
he new fitness
you have.
the shoes,
the waterproof shoes,
they haven’t yet
sprung a leak.
the herbs
seem to be
working.
the tinctured herbs
seem to be
working.
the powdered mushrooms,
ya, wow,
they really seem
to be working.
you can feel ok
for a while.
you can think
about making more
changes, more
positive changes,
in your life.
you can
maybe
think about
a new relationship,
a new
romantic relationship.
you can try to make
adult friends.
friends
who are
friends
not only because
you all like to get
fucked up.
and by
“like to get
fucked up”
you mean,
you all like to
disappear.
ya,
things are
working,
you are
working out,
you are
getting fit,
you are
sober,
things are
working out.
it can be
sometimes
easy to forget,
with all this
clear-headed
working out,
all this
rainproofed fitness,
that your baseline
always waits for you
to come back.
and you always
come back.
and your baseline
is always
shit.
were i
an artist
i could make
art of this,
i could call
the darkness
“extravagant”
and make people
feel at least
briefly
good about it.
make it
palatable.
make it
romantic.
but i am not
an artist.
if i were
a gardener
i could take
the darkness
and combine it
with light.
bring about
a bloom,
perhaps
a fruiting.
but i am not
a gardener.
god uses art
as a method
of proof.
it takes
a lot of shit
to help something
grow.
zakschafer.com 