modern Capitalism is decrepit and moldering so i sell myself in a grant application and wait for the smell to turn sweet
a camera on a tripod points at me so i think thoughts about my soul and its tin-cup rattling desire for…escape?
it was supposed to be a silent meditation but instead i rambled on for nearly 20 minutes while others sat waiting and silent
i read a Zen Buddhist story about a man who sells his art for money and is ridiculed by other monks until they find out what he wants the money for
it snows lightly in Alaska and heavily in Texas and my man in Vermont adds compost to fallow gardens of my imagining
fictitious friends depart as distant and blunted mountain tops pinprick me not into blood, no, but joy
i keep thinking there is something i am supposed to be doing which leads me increasingly to believe that this is it; it isn’t nihilism but it is nothing
a 4000 mile distant friend talks with me for 2 hours through the computer and later in the day i learn something about the rise of an earthen moon
in Vermont i apologize many times to a friend and then years later wake up across a continent to a world in which we are friends no more
i played football and my sister ran cross country and both of us wore bones hollow enough to toll like bells
i got a pair of used Patagonia shorts in the mail and all these suckers out here probably thought i couldn’t look any cooler
if you think you are losing your mind, let it go. in the middle of the night toast sourdough bread in a toaster oven with raw milk Vermont cheddar cheese. let it go.
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