if i don’t floss and brush my teeth early in the evening, i’ll just end up eating and eating long after my caloric needs have been met

are you looking for god?
do you search for magic
in your waking day?
do you cling to dream,
seeking the stars that hide
behind sleep’s pale mist?

i think i would like to
fall in love again. yes,
love does maybe feel
like magic.

but what do i
know of this?

i have so little
understanding
of any of life’s workings,
it all feels like magic
to me. remember
a cassette tape?
a compact disc?
god, in those tiny grooves.
magic, in those musical groves.
starlight, somehow
recorded in plastic,
given to us,
like love.

yes, i would like to
fall in love again. and
yes, i would like to
feel less befuddled by
the mystifying magic
of this brief twinkling life.

maybe there is a god
for all of us. somewhere
we go to need, like infant,
and be received, like
kindness of grandmother.
i’ve never known
my grandmothers,
either of them,
and i do not know if
there is a god.
and i am uncertain if
i will ever again plummet,
into and with
someone.

i do not understand how
any of this works.
instead, i spend my days
stumbling in a wander,
in a reverie,
in a milky blue despair.

are you here with me now?
in the spaces we share,
even unseen,
even unknown,
is this where we find god?

right now, you
are reading this.
with me.
is this not
magic?