zen and suffering part 1

i sat in
mediation
for twenty five years
and for
twenty five years
i suffered.

a blank wall
and a back like
a snapped flag.
empty
and full
of nothing i wait
for my back to soften
like love i wait
for my wall to harden
like love.

full of nothing,
empty, a back
like a flag pole,
a wall like
a symbolic heart.
like love.

joy and suffering;
different faces,
the same thing.